Before I became a marriage therapist and addictions counselor I realized I needed therapy myself. I am an adult child of an alcoholic and had a bad case of toxic shame from growing up in my alcoholic family, during which I developed two addictions: relationship and food addiction. This scenario isn’t unusual, if you talk candidly with many therapists. Out of our personal life dramas we were called upon to help others resolve theirs. I was to find I needed two things even more than therapy: to believe in myself and to find God again, from the inside. Rich foods and silly romances made very poor gods.
I also needed to learn what a healthy relationship is, because I didn’t know. After many false alarms of the heart, the Grace of all Graces came when I met my wife, who supports my recovery but isn’t in recovery herself, simply because she doesn’t need to be. It’s amazing to me that some people in this world don’t need recovery. I know I tried to pretend I didn’t need recovery for a very long time.
My clinical specialties are amazingly harmonious. Relationship issues always come with addictions, which entail psychological and emotional problems without fail. Out of this work of twenty years, I am humbled and appreciative of two spiritual forces integral to successful outcomes in therapy, which are Grace and Mercy.
Like all therapists, I earn my livelihood by listening to people, asking questions and drawing conclusions from what they reveal. Then I try to help them make things better for themselves. That always involves choices, but it all begins with Grace and Mercy. If Grace and Mercy enter the therapy office with me and my clients, or are there when we walk in, a successful outcome is assured. Of course, skillful assessment, treatment planning and the right interventions are always components of therapy as a behavioral science, which usually for me come together intuitively, even mysteriously. Invisible spiritual forces do underlie our material lives.
In both my personal and professional lives I wish to be an influence of Grace and Mercy, so that those brought into my sphere of influence can reach out and be touched by them. Please tell me your story. I can’t do therapy from a blog, but I can be a witness to your truth and validate your experience. We are all trudging the Road of Happy Destiny in recovery.